Posts Tagged ‘ sisters ’

RAINBOW

Recently I watched the movie For Colored Girls. I personally like the movie and here’s why; First of all it’s artistic and unusual. I haven’t seen a movie with poetry being its main focus that has the ability to exhibit strong content in resemblance to everyday life. I believe that Tyler Perry done an excellent job on scripting and directing a book of poetry into film. The movie was based off of the book, “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Good Enuf: A Chorepoem” by Ntozake Shange. Secondly, I love the way he introduced several people’s journey and connected them while revealing some hidden issues not just for African American women but people in general. The actors and actresses were phenomenal in portraying each character on film. You believed them. I don’t care who you are and where you come from…you will see yourself directly or indirectly in this film. Also, Black Girls Rock, a production aired on BET that was well put together. It focused on positivity and the acknowledgment of African American women who leads by example…that has successfully pioneered their role or place in whatever industry they reign in. I really appreciate Beverly Bond for the vision of orchestrating this first televised production. It’s important to see people go through some dire circumstances, to see that they wanted to give up on life and STILL push their way through. Their story is your story. You are a living autobiography. Every detail, every word spoken or unspoken is your resonating template for someone else to follow. Please understand that you could be someone else’s answer. Life is a gift. I pray that you all cherish it and take it seriously. I hope you all choose to live and let the unspoken works of your life be an example of inspiration and strength that will breathe life for someone else.

If you need help don’t be afraid to seek it. Your life is worth living and YOU ARE VALUABLE. Here’s a link: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ and a national hotline number: 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you. • Call for yourself or someone you care about • Free and confidential • A network of more than 140 crisis centers nationwide • Available 24/7

Red Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio Cuando

usted llama al número 1-888-628-9454, su llamada se dirige al centro de ayuda de nuestra red disponible más cercano. Cuando el centro contesta su llamada, usted estará hablando con una persona que le escuchará, le hará preguntas y hará todo lo que esté a su alcance para ayudarlo. Para información en español haga clic aquí.

For Hearing and Speech Impaired with TTY Equipment: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)

INFIDELITY…THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY

SISTER KRISTY: Okay, so I was encouraged to blog about a situation I found myself in recently. I’m going to keep it short & sweet. I found myself attracted to a married man. He would flirt with me, but it was very subtle. It wasn’t something that was vulgar or outright disrespectful. He would say normal conversational pieces like, “how was your day “, “I like your outfit “or “you have beautiful skin “. But this was not the real issue. The issue was the way he looked at me while he said it. It wasn’t a leer it was a look of appreciation that one gives to another when they find them attractive. So Even though on paper it was all innocent interactions, I found myself thinking about this dude and wanting to be in his company. He’s charming, charismatic, and funny with a hint of danger. That was when I drew up the red flag. I have been approached by married men before, but I have never been attracted to one nor have I ever hesitated to send them packing. I could not understand why I was even thinking about this man and craving more conversations with him like: politics, health, music, movies whatever, all very short conversations but obviously enough for me to get caught up mentally. So the next time we came into contact with each other I pulled him to the side & stated that it was clear that we were attracted to one another. I asked that we respectively stop flirting with each other because he was not available to flirt as a married man. Now once again nothing we talked about could have been noted as flirting but I KNEW that was what it was because of the way I felt when I talked to him and the way he looked at me while we talked. I started to agonize over what I couldn’t prove to be flirting but…it all felt very wrong and dirty and secretive. There was a magnetic pull between us with simple greetings like “hello, how are you? “ Never did he ask me out, never did I offer him any type of affection but it still felt wrong. So I chose to have the conversation and asked respectively that we stopped flirting. He said that he would & asked what would my actions be? I told him that I would also. Although neither one of us knew exactly what we would be stopping per say because it was all surface conversation, but whatever unspoken thing we were doing to one another we agreed to stop. 
       After that pivotal conversation, I had to give him one more pep talk, in which I laid down rules of communication of things he could not say to me. If he couldn’t adhere, I told him that there would be a scene caused and that it would lead to violence. At this point after talking to him and sharing the blame of our flirting and he still didn’t get it I got angry that I allowed myself to even be in this position. That next time he said something to me that I deemed inappropriate “good morning” with that look, I was prepared to fight. I never thought I would be attracted to a married man let alone desire to spend time with him. I actually entertained the thought of a kiss, touch, phone conversation, or an outing with a MARRIED MAN. It was definitely a learning experience. I thought it couldn’t happen to me but it did. I entertained way more mentally in the situation that I ever thought I was capable of.
       The only thing that saved me was praying to God about my thoughts and what I was tempted to do. I know what the bible says on this issue it is very clear. Imagining yourself with someone else is the same as being with that person in reality. I refused to have that on my account. That is not something that I want Jesus to ask me about when I get to heaven. Desiring a married man, No, I think not.

SISTER MELISSA: I know that my sister only entertained thoughts & flirted but I’m taking it all the way to what the outcome will be if not interrupted. We have all found ourselves thinking or doing something that we know in our hearts is wrong. You know we all have our different paths to complete, our destiny or journey, but we ALL have a sense of what is Right & what is Wrong. People do what they want & don’t take into account the whole picture. Yes, it is the individual choice, but it affects more than just you. When you decided to marry then YOU decide to uphold, you decide to include YOUR whole family when you make your choice for temporary pleasure. Temporary, surely will not keep you when the final outcome of your temporary insanity of lust cause you a permanent outcome. We are the choices that we make. Yes, we make wrong decisions. We make hard one sometimes. I think we would do better when we know better & we know better if we know who we are. Ladies, you are not desperate. You don’t have to share. Respect yourselves & demand respect. How would you feel if someone knew that was your husband & still didn’t care? How would you feel? Men, how would you feel? It can be difficult but it’s not impossible to walk away. I encouraged my sister to tell her story because I’m tired of all the fakeness & people who act like they don’t make mistakes. I’m glad she confronted & admitted her part in this because it was not all just him. I am proud of her for walking away. I can see how it can be easy for this to happen. Women, who see an attractive man or vice versa, instead of IMMEDIATELY stopping the thoughts allow those thoughts to continue, will find themselves in the same situation. My pastor says, “thoughts become things if not interrupted.” This is one thing I truly do not play with….I’m not putting myself above this at all but I don’t allow married men to come on to me. I don’t allow myself to come on to them. I don’t care how fine they are. I continue to think about when I am married & how I don’t want to do anything for it to come back to me. Think about it.

So here are the questions that my sister & I will answer next on this topic:
Would you ever tell your sibling spouse if you knew that your sibling cheated?  Would you lie if they asked you? Why & Why not
Would your opinion of your sibling change if you knew they slept with someone married?

Sisterhood

Hey guys I’m Melissa Magazine the elder of the “2 Sister’s”. Here is what I believe that God has established the order of family. In that family He has parents & children, (siblings). Siblings are the part of the “order” that we would like to concentrate on. To me this is the first practice of communication. The family you’re born into serves a purpose & we can’t serve that purpose when we are disconnected or in discord. If that line of communication is broken then it infiltrates into all of our other relationships in every area.

I believe that my sister & I have a bond that goes beyond the natural realm of things. Here are the reasons why I believe that we are so connected. I do believe that the foundation of it all is because of my mom & how she raised us. My mother always told us that all we have is each other, especially when our parents are gone. She told us that from knee high. We were never allowed to badmouth each other or anyone for that matter or pass licks. I remember hearing my mother praying that we would be close. On our birthdays our parents would always give the other one a present as well. We could never go anywhere without the other, of course that was sometimes a pain & embarrassing but now I understand. Our parents ALWAYS supported us no matter how big or ridiculous our dreams were. They NEVER showed any favoritism at all!!

In this blog you will clearly see how different my sister and I are & how close we are as well. We hope to share our knowledge, experiences, & our love for our relationship with the world in hopes that it will help to strengthen the sibling bond.

Sister Kristy

Hey guys I am the younger sister, of “2 Sisters”. On many things I have followed my sister’s lead. She suggested we start a blog and I said okay. It’s really that simple. We are very close. So close that we are often asked if we are twins. But that was not always the case. We actually disagree on a plethora of subjects even what it means to be a sister. So we decided to post our discussion about the subject of “sisterhood”.

1. What does being a sister mean to me?

Sister Kristy: besides the obvious of being born or adopted into a family and being a sister by default….. being a sister means having support. You are able to share ideas, heartaches, pains and triumphs without judgment.

Sister Melissa: I believe that sister’s trust one another & that they share secrets that stay between them. We support each other endeavors. I also believe that we are supposed to see their potential even when they don’t & encourage them to be their best.

2. How do you not past judgment on your sister?

Sister Kristy: Well this can be difficult at first, because it can be hard to live with someone and see their faults yet not judge them. The key is to put yourself in their shoes in order to identify with their present circumstances.

Sister Melissa: I believe that’s easy for me. I totally remember me & who I am & how I make mistakes. The thing about me is that I am protective, so that kind of spills over into my relationships. My sister may take my protectiveness sometimes for judgment, but I’m truly trying to protect her. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I made.

3. How to support your sister even though you do not agree with her choices?

Sister Kristy: I have rarely agreed with the choices that my sister has made since I was sixteen. However, I knew she needed my support on those issues. The key to remember here is that support does not mean agree. They are two different things. You can support an idea or action from the sidelines while helping your sister through a situation.

Sister Melissa: I totally concur with my sister that it is truly about support, you do not have to agree. I do think that you should share your opinion if you believe that the decision will harm them. But sometimes you have to know the language of silence, which can be difficult when you think your loved one is about to fall. Do not give the, “I told you speech” & just be there.

4. How can you become closer to your sister whom is completely different from you?

Sister Kristy: I totally get you out there whom is having this issue. My sister interest’s have always been completely left field of my interest. So I just made an effort to spend time doing the things she liked. For example as a teenager I traveled with her to modeling gigs. I had no interest on what color eye shadow matched her designer digs, but did have a very big interest on helping her become as stress free as possible while she found the perfect eye shadow.

Sister Melissa: For me, I like variety. I like differences. My sister being different from me is no different then being from different cultures or nationalities. My sister may not know this but her being different taught me a lot of things, things I would have never known I liked if it wasn’t for her & her friends. I like learning & I enjoy making memories with my sister doing some of the activities that my sister enjoys.

5. How can you become closer to your sister whom you don’t even like?

Sister Kristy: I felt like Melissa did not like me for the longest time. She went through that whole I’m a grown woman now that I’m seventeen phase. Yes Seventeen not eighteen. So my solution was to make a CHOICE to like her first. I went to visit her in college. I talked to her about her favorite subjects. We went on movie dates. But more importantly, I started to share things with her that was precious to me and confidential. I gave her a chance to prove that I could trust her. I opened myself up to a relationship with her.

Sister Melissa: Just for the record there was never a time where I didn’t like my sister. Actually, I thought she didn’t like me during a period of my life when I felt like I was at rock bottom. I was finding my way back to God & I may not have handled things as best I should. I think she didn’t know how to handle me & because of where I was mentally my perception was off. You push through what you think & what you feel & communicate your feelings no matter how much it hurts. You tell each other the truth at all times & trust me prayer works!

%d bloggers like this: